Just started dating? Pay attention to these subtle and not-so-subtle warning signs. Yes, not everything is a red flag. However, carefully considering these patterns or behaviours when they show up can spare you from potential heartache and disappointment in the future.
- One-sided energy
Effort = Interest
If you are the only one reaching out, checking-in, making plans, asking them about their day or saying “I miss you”, “I wanna see you” always – their lack of interest is clear. Take the cue, really.
2. Trash-talking their ex
Talking excessively (without your asking) about their “crazy” ex and how they were wronged by them, bashing their habits or behaviour and generally shedding them in a poor light. This shows a lack of respect/ boundaries and may be a sign of their incapacity to take responsibility for their part in a relationship.
*This doesn’t apply to past abusive relationships*
3. Telling you what to wear/ how to look/ how to act
This is control. People who are genuinely good for you would appreciate you anyway and probably say:
“You look great in anything, I don’t care what you wear as long as you’re happy.”
4. Vague History
Telling you very little about their past, their job, their education, their family or their friends and/ or the story is inconsistent. You are hidden from their friends or never included in their world even after months of dating. You don’t really know what they are like with others or in their time away from you.
5. Love-Bombing
Overwhelming you with undesired attention and showering with excessive love, gifts, favours, and compliments with an intention to gain trust or influence. Moving too quickly and saying “I love you”, “You complete me”, “Marry me”, “You’re the only one for me” within no time into the relationship.
