Golden Child Syndrome

The “Golden Child Syndrome” is a term that refers to a family dynamic in which one child is favoured or idealised over others by their parents or caregivers. The golden child is often expected to be perfect and is put under a lot of pressure to succeed. This can cause a lot of stress and anxiety for the golden child, as well as resentment and jealousy from their siblings.

The Golden Child Syndrome is most commonly associated with narcissistic parents, perfectionistic parents or parents who exhibit strong favouritism.

What this may look like:

Constantly praising only one child (the golden child) and finding fault with the others
Constant comparison of the “golden child” to their siblings
Expecting the child to be high-achieving all the time
Expecting them to take on adult roles and responsibilities
Enforcing hobbies and activities that they may not be interested in

How this may feel for the Golden Child or impact them as adults:

A constant fear of failure
A sense of burden and responsibility to maintain their ‘perfect chid’ image
People-pleasing patterns
Disconnection from siblings
A need for constant external validation
Becoming highly defensive
Bottling up one’s own needs and desires
Struggling with their identity/ sense of self

Setting boundaries as the Golden Child may sound like:

“I appreciate that you love and support me, but it feels like you expect more from me than I can take on and it’s putting a lot of pressure on me. I need your support without feeling like I have to constantly live up to your expectations.”

“I understand that you may have a special bond with me, but I want to make sure that all of us siblings feel loved and are treated equally. Can we work together to create a more balanced and fair family dynamic?”

“I want to be there for you and support you, but I also need the space for my own goals and interests. I can do ____ and I will not be able to do ____.”

Sources and further reading: