Radical listening means listening without judgment, keeping silent and giving your full attention so that the speaker will continue sharing. It isn’t complicated. It is disciplined and requires practice: It is the act of very intentionally focusing on the speaker and what’s being said without interrupting, being distracted by your own thoughts or waiting for your turn to speak.
Observe yourself right now. As you read these words, you are paying attention to something. And most probably, it’s not only to the words on this slide. You can also hear your own thoughts about what you’re reading. The same thing happens when you’re listening.
Radical listening requires keeping your own internal monologue aside. It involves tuning into others’ voices without projecting your own ideas and identity into the conversation. Once the speaker has finished speaking, it means engaging further, asking thoughtful questions, and summing up what you have gathered to make sure you have understood correctly.
Some things you can say:
Help me understand…
Tell me more about why you feel this way…
If I’ve understood correctly, what you mean is that…
After you’ve established that you’ve fully understood what’s been expressed, you get to express your views too. Here’s one way to do it:
“I think I understand your perspective and why you feel this way. If you’re willing to listen, I’d like to tell you more about what I think and why.”
In the current socio-political context, radical listening means passing the mic to those who are often silenced or unheard. When we radically listen to members of historically oppressed and marginalized communities, we have a better understanding of how we can support their rights.
“Radical listening can occur on the world stage – international diplomacy, high-stakes political discourse… It’s equally effective on smaller stages between doctor and patient, supervisor and employee, parent and child, husband and wife or even between friends.”
Rita Charon, Ph.D
In a world that has been more divided, anxious and politically polarized than ever, Radical Listening is the simplest way to start breaking down the systemic barriers around us.
~ Imagine if everyone did the silent but powerful work to truly listen. ~
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