The Beautiful Mess Effect suggests that other people view our flaws, failures and vulnerability more positively than we ourselves do.
We often fear how others may respond when we show them the weak, flawed and imperfect parts of us. However, research shows that these fears are overblown in our minds and that accepting and revealing our flaws or imperfections can make people like us more, not less.
Reasons we feel attracted to people who admit their flaws:
We are all flawed and imperfect humans. Accepting our flaws allows people to be more carefree and less critical about themselves. Vulnerability is the key to deeper, more meaningful relationships. It makes us feel truly seen, safe and accepted. It shows us how it’s possible to be both imperfect and loved /respected.
“The great thing is that when we show our imperfections to others, we give them a beautiful gift: we help them feel better about themselves.”
Being vulnerable or expressing imperfection can look like:
- Admitting that you made a serious mistake to your team at work
- Apologizing to someone and telling them you were wrong
- Expressing your weaknesses and/or asking for help or support
- Acknowledging how much you love and depend on your friend/ partner
If you struggle with allowing yourself to be imperfect, repeat to yourself:
- It’s okay to not have it all together
- It’s okay to admit my weaknesses and faults
- It’s okay to not be so good sometimes
- It’s okay to not be okay
